


In Loving Memory

by Kechk



Category: Korean Drama, 쓸쓸하고 찬란하神 - 도깨비 | Goblin (TV)
Genre: Child Abuse, F/M, Gen, I'm going to be the first person to address the nitty gritty shit that went down in Goryeo, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Minor Violence, Nah just focusing on other things besides romance in Goblin TV, Park Joong Heon's A+ parenting, Screwing up the romance in korean dramas, Swearing, You Have Been Warned, his past is not pretty, my son Wan Yeo has a lot of issues, srsly Park Joong Heon is a piece of shit, wang yeo centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-09-19 16:26:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9450236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kechk/pseuds/Kechk
Summary: Summary: He is the Grim Reaper. But before that he was Wang Yeo, last surviving heir to the royal throne and cared for by Park Joong Heon.“Isn’t it cruel that we can see other people’s past but not our own?”“We were terrible sinners in our past life, why would you want to know?”“Well, aren’t human lives centered on healing from wounds?”In which the past is cruel, the road to happiness paved with obstacles, but a goblin, his bride and his sister are there to help a grim reaper pick up the pieces. He’s not alone.





	1. The Before

**Author's Note:**

> Note: Wang Yeo-centric. No romance between Sunny and Wang Yeo, friendship only (they broke up, let it be final and let the poor kids heal). Minimal romance between Eun Tak and Kim Shin. I’m going to break the grim reaper into itsy bitsy angsty pieces and have his new friends put him back together. Goes about the Park Joong Heon confrontation differently.
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy these ugly headcanons as much as I do. Let these babies suffer and heal.

It is after he confronts the Goblin at the temple. Or is it Kim Shin, his loyal general?

It is after the kiss with Kim Sun, no, Sunny now. Was he her tragic lover, no, _killer_?

It is after Missing Soul’s sympathy and caring gaze. How can she still consider a sinner her friend?

It is after.

He feels for that moment the world too small, the air too thin, the ground unstable. As a Grim Reaper he agonised over his erased memories but this is too much. He’d found people he cared for and would now be facing the high possibility that he’d murdered two thirds of them in a past life he does not remember.

For that moment, he wishes he did not have any.

The chimes in his tea shop ring. With an unhelpful inhale of air meant to calm himself, he finds himself within his sanctuary. Brewing tea, sending souls, he knew how to do that, he’d had 300 years of experience. This place had the warmth of familiarity.

“We’re the internal audit team. Take a seat.”

Sluggishly, the many instances he had used his powers to help the Goblin and his bride out of sticky situations and kept Sunny safe flitted through his mind. So did the times he’d given and taken Sunny’s memories. _You are everyone’s worst memory._  

“Do you concede?”

He was the reason Kim Sun was unhappy in the previous life and the current. He was the reason the Goblin had a sword in his chest. He was the reason a missing soul existed and was hurt in the process.

“I do.”

Then, he remembers. 

The torrent of memories leaves him gasping on the hard, cold floor. It’s still not very stabilising.

_I was Wang Yeo, I was Wang Yeo, IwasWangyeoIwasWangyeoIwasWangyeo-_

“I was Wang Yeo.” is all he says out loud to the empty tea shop. It was never this lonely, even if the only visitors that frequented it were a tea-brewing grim reaper and the departed.

 

* * *

 

_“Ahahaha! Faster! Faster” A childish squeal echoed in the empty royal palace’s corridors._

_The sickly king’s half-brother, an orphan, alone with only an eunuch to care for him._

_“I’m afraid I’m too tired, my prince. I’m old and my joints creak as loud as the floorboards at night.” He let the boy slip of his back, massaging the backache he’d received for giving a piggyback ride for so long._

_“Please! Play longer! Longer!”_

_The eunuch smiled. The young prince’s vocabulary still needed to be expanded upon but already he was so eager for attention and so very polite. The boy was perfect for his plan._

The kingdom at the prince’s feet. The prince at my feet. The kingdom at my feet.

_“Please, father, please!”_

I’ll make a king of you yet.

 

* * *

 

He had thought that maybe knowing was better. Then he’d have some peace, some answers, finally.

He was wrong. All that time- wanting a namecard, a name, an identity. Only to hate it.

Wang Yeo was a terrible king and lover, a traitor to the people of Goryeo. What king was so spineless to be manipulated into executing one of the finest generals his kingdom had ever seen, including his innocent family. _Kim Sun Kim Sun Kim Sun_

Then a sliver of a memory, not of his time as the cowardly king. Something warm but not quite. He feels the tingle of it at the base of his spine. A childhood memory, foggy but tinged with the simple emotions of a child. 

Such memories were unimportant to the major issue that was he-

I am Wang Yeo, I am Wang Yeo, _I am Wang Yeo murderer, executor, killer, sinner-_

He finds himself staring at the stone footsteps to the temple. _What did the Goblin see in the king-him when he was at those steps all those years ago? Why did he keep moving forward?_

He does not dare take a step.

He teleports and leaves black smog, no trace of him ever being there.

 

* * *

 

As the Goblin, Kim Shin had had a long time to think of his past life, his sins.

He was a general, a warrior. Made to kill at command, no questions asked. The only merit such a position held was the pride felt for serving the crown. He served as was his duty.

In Goryeo, he was a warrior to a tee. He did not expect any return, only that he would be allowed to serve the crown as long as he was able. He sneered.

Now? He might still be in the same lifetime, but he was no longer a duty bound general. 938 years of reflection would do that to any person. 

When he’d first woken up as a Goblin, he was overcome by animalistic rage, a thirst for revenge. Perhaps that is why Park Joong Heon chose the present to reappear, a mangled, hideous ghost to torment him. He did not meet a quick, merciful death.

The years wore him down into bitterness and an acute sense of loneliness. How could his majesty betray his faithful people like this? How could the bastard _kill himself_ and leave him alone in this cruel world with no family and no living ties to the palace.

He was a royal servant through and through, now a goblin. Left to drift aimlessly, painfully.

Now his master has reemerged, and the rage has resurfaced. It is mature; He is understanding of the eunuch’s cunning and the strings he’d pulled in the king’s final decisions. He is however, baffled that his faith in the young king was so misplaced. He trusted his gut feeling that Wang Yeo of the past would come to his senses, more so when his sister was wed to him. But he’d predicted wrongly and _consequently-_

Consequently.

It was tiring to rage on and on. He huffs and returns to his current primary concern, Eun Tak’s safety. He has to shove thoughts of the Grim Reaper-Wang Yeo- _his majesty_ out of his mind and focus on keeping his bride alive.  

He didn’t expect the bastard to have the nerve to appear in his room.

 _Insensitive fool of a Grim Reaper._ The anger returns like an old friend.

 

* * *

 

Mayhap this was a terrible idea. He was full of them he knew, in both this life and the past.

He was a plague to everyone he met. A walking disaster.

Did he deserve to be able to confess his sins? Yes. Did he deserve forgiveness? Absolutely not.

“I gave you the sword. I killed them. I… remember. I was Wang Yeo.”

Did he just antagonise the Goblin further? Yes.

 _You’re such a little piece of shit._ His mind supplies him.

 _Yes. I know._ He replies.

The feeling of Kim Shin’s hands fisting his coat is familiar, he’d been trapped just like this moments ago. The Goblin’s punishment was a result of Wang Yeo-his orders. It was in his right to sentence his master.

“You killed and you killed and you even killed yourself.”

He couldn’t breathe. His lungs were heavy like filled with water and not air. His breath came in short gasps, his tongue tasted the saltiness of his tears.

“You couldn’t protect a single thing!”

Inside, Wang Yeo was choking on sobs and ripped portraits. Outside, the Grim Reaper shed tears of self-loathing and regret.

“She died to save you!”

Wang Yeo had not had a friend his age. Royal servants did not count. She was the exception. Time spent with her shone and when she died, the light disappeared.

All was dark and sad and miserable.

Kim Sun had still stared him in the eye when the jewellery box crashed to the floor, her eyes teary, sad. Wang Yeo had seen betrayal, the grim reaper saw only pity in those black orbs. Wang Yeo was indeed a pitiable king, lover, _child_.

“I forced that ring on her. I was a jerk.” 

What made him confess was the child Wang Yeo, drowning in poisoned concoctions brewed by his father figure, food bowls and cutlery thrown in sorrow. Wang Yeo did not know what he wanted, but it was certainly not this ache in his heart, the sting in his eyes from sleepless nights, the tremor in his hand after many manic attempts at Kim Sun’s portraits.

He did not want it.

And thus he’d killed himself.

_Cowardice._

The bone deep melancholy was familiar. He’d felt this way before, he just didn’t know the source in the past. _Oh, he was a fool to be so curious._

He’d continue feeling this way as was in his character. There is no salvation for a sinner.

After the Kim family’s death, he’d asked the servant to bring out as many bottles of soju she could procure in minutes. He’d downed bottles after bottles and collapsed in a heap of silk blankets and expensive pillows. His father had advised against drinking too much, Wang Yeo wasn’t a drinker. The bitter liquid did not ever taste good but the burn felt like punishment, one that he could inflict upon himself easily.

_I want to die._

Months later he finds rebel armies preparing to attack once more after The Terrible Kim Shin’s death. His new troops are inexperienced, Kim Shin’s remaining soldiers are seasoned but disheartened. They survive the war, but the casualties are high. The red in his ledger is thick.

 _I want to die._  

The servants bring him food and wine and _concoction._ He had thought up theories as to how majority of his family had died but no leads were pursued. He hadn’t had the mind to investigate. He didn't care for them as the ones alive had hardly been in his life and they were numbered when he'd been three years old. Until now. His caregiver, guardian, father- Park Joong Heon.

_I want to die._

Memory was a funny thing. Too little or none of it, humans whine; too much of it, humans cry.

_He was crying._

It was also notorious for coming back when it was uncalled for.

 

* * *

 

_It was night time in Goryeo, crickets and cicadas in the gardens were making a racket, the wind was blowing an eerie melody through a window a servant had forgotten to shut._

_In Joong Heon’s study a candle was lit and the room was glowing through paper walls._

_“A good king knows his ancestor’s history well and is forever filial to his family.”_

_A page was turned._

_“There was once a crown prince, Wang Yeo, who failed in his duties.”_  

 _The five year old in his lap shuffled uncomfortably and twisted to look up at his beloved father._  

_“What did he do?”_

_“He forgot his roots and swayed from his purpose. He did not want the responsibility of the crown. He played too much and fell into a pit and was forgotten. The true intention of this story is this, what did you do?” Joong Heon’s brow knitted together and his stern expression chilled the initially warm room._  

_“I… I spoke to a few of the servants' children.”_

_“And?”_

_“We wandered to the cloth drying area outside the palace grounds to play.”_

_“I have warned you before that as the royal heir you can never befriend those of the peasant class.”_

_“But I didn’t give them my name! They gave me theirs! And we just chased each other around the drying silks.”_  

_Suddenly, the young king-to-be had his shoulder held in an iron grip. His robes were bunched tightly in his father’s fist._

_“You will not question me boy! I taught you better! You are not meant to interact with any of those lesser than your own status.”_

_“I’m sorry! It was an accident!”_  

_“There are no accidents. You need to learn that there are consequences to your actions. Tomorrow, you will point out the servant children to me.”_

_“What is going to happen to them? Please don’t hurt them! It was my fault, I was curious!”_  

_“Hush. Now take off your shirt and stand up straight. Your subjects cannot bear the brunt of punishment alone.”_

_Joong Heon had used a thin bamboo cane. Wang Yeo slept on his belly that night with angry red welts on his back. There were minor cuts that bled but Joong Heon had patched them up with a herbal ointment that left a faint tingle in the heir's small back._

_“I coddle you far too much.”_

_“Yes father, I’m sorry.”_

_“Stop apologising. Show gratitude to your elders.”_

_“Sorry. Thank you father.”_

_The next day four children were whipped within the palace grounds. A young Wang Yeo stared at the procession and felt a familiar ache in his heart._  

_He didn’t identify it until later what it was._

 

* * *

 

The feeling of hands on him were familiar. His memories were filled with moments of skin on skin, of scrapes and scratches and whips and slaps and beatings and- and -

_No, please stop father, it hurts please stop it hurts it hurts_

_His father’s hands on his skin and then- and then-_

_Hurt hurt hurt-_

_I'm sorry I'm sorry-_  

 _Please stop make it stop-_  

 _It hurts-_  

_I'll be good I'll be a good boy please-_

Kim Shin's grip felt heavier, his skin looked wrinklier, his nails sharper.

 _Stop stop make it stop-_  

It wasn't Kim Shin's hand he saw anymore.

His breath caught, pupils dilated as his mouth slacked with horror.

_“Don't touch me!”_

He shrieked as he slapped away Kim Shin's grip on his coat.

The walls were closing in on him, the ceiling was about to collapse, his room was tilting about. There was too little space to breath, _to exist._

Faintly he registered the Goblin's cry of pain and shock, he'd used his powers in that slap. Absently he noted that the tremor in his limbs were intensifying and that his legs would soon be unable to support him. But all that was being swept away by the overwhelming feeling of _fear-_

_Oh my god-_

_Father please-_

_Stop oh my god stop-_  

_It hurts stop I'm sorry I'll be good-_

_Why am I never good enough stop please stop-_

His last sight was that of Kim Shin's face showing genuine confusion and concern and the brown floor meeting him quickly.

Before everything turned black, he thought, amidst the unwavering current of _stops_ and the _sorrys_ loud enough for Kim Shin to hear-

_Please kill me._

 

 

_-To be continued-_


	2. Some New Information

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the deities are not so almighty and everyone suffers for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having a shit ton of fun screwing up these pure precious characters. T/W for mentions of blood and icky situations at the end. Just a bit. I think I've decided to make this very dark, idk yet truly.

Eun Tak’s life had always been strange. Only now the strangeness had burst into sky high levels, close to becoming unbearable.

She was good at coping. Her ghost-vision, her mother’s death, her aunt’s family, her classmates-

Yes, she’d gone through extremely rough times. It was not in her nature to submit defeat. Thus, she had persevered. Now she had a job, a place to call home, confidence as an adult, an awesome friend, a grim reaper for a confidant and a goblin for a boyfriend. Life was weird but strangely good.

Her status as the Goblin’s bride was a surprisingly a small part in the big picture. Sure, she’d met the important people in life because of it, but the title meant nothing in the face of actually forming important relationships with those around her. She’d grown and she was proud.

For the occasional scare from being Kim Shin’s bride, almost dying and terrifying evil ghosts like Park Joong Heon, being the Goblin’s bride made her happy. Despite the supernatural elements, they’d gotten together well and “normally”. When they were together it was as if everyone was human again. She was damned proud to remind her boyfriend and friend that despite god-given punishments and perceived ill-fates, their chemistry as a family came part and parcel with the bad and often conquered it.

Every family had its ups and downs, theirs were just tied to deities and reapers and goblins and ghosts.

Regardless, she was never a defeatist, she’d faced death numerous times, her own almost-deaths and those around her. It was tough living with a goblin and grim reaper, it came with its arguments and scuffs. There were many nights where she’d shed the smile in her bedroom and exchanged it for a thoughtful pout. Always, her “purpose” as the Goblin’s bride would come up. Thinking up solutions as a human was a definite something when her two housemates were superpowered, immortal beings. They were complicated by unclear laws of divinity, what else could she do in the face of it?

When her boss had found out about her housemates, it had been a major relief just to have someone at least semi-know what was going on. Sunny couldn’t help her with divine punishment but she could be a superb conversation partner post closing time. She'd visit after work and Sunny would pull out the beer. Sunny was the window to the “normal” in her life just as she was the window to the “supernatural” to hers.

It was a support system she’d never had before and she cherished it for the difference.

Tonight was just like that, she was with Sunny at her restaurant, just chatting. Some heavy topics but that was what made them closer in the first place, so what? In the face of everything, these conversations were much appreciated. She’d get by it plus she was one of the few able to reach the two childish men back at home. The green ring was a step towards soothing the grim (more moody and awkward than grim) reaper. She’d take it.

It just had to be ruined by the mug of an old geezer in dirty white robes and greasy greyed hair.

“It has been a while, sister of the lowly warrior, a queen born from a warrior’s family.”

_Okay don’t panic he’s after the boss don’t panic._

_That is absolutely not okay._

“Don’t come any closer!”

She chances a glance at her boss’s concerned expression. _Concerned is not a good look on the boss. Mister Park you are an absolute bastard for worrying her even more._

_What to do what to do… Lighter! My coat!_

“Mr Park, I’m warning you right now, you don’t want to mess with us.” _God, that was pathetic even in her own ears. Focus!_

With a light nudge, she inched backwards whilst shielding her boss from the sinister apparition.

“Hahaha… And what do you think you can do? I have no business with you, your time comes later.” Joong Heon chuckled monotonously.

“You don’t have any right haunting the people of this time. You’re over 900 years old and you’re not a grim reaper nor a goblin and not really a ghost. What are you?”

“Part timer what is going on?!”

“My being is not any of your concern. I have only my intentions to harm.” _Wow, totally not crazy. I’m close._

“What? You won’t tell me a little about yourself?” _Think. What riles this vengeful man?_ “I know you’ve got a grudge on the goblin and I know why but what did the Sunny of the past do to you?” _Please fall for it._

The ghost’s mangled hands clenched together, his face darkened.

“Yeo was like a son to me. She ruined everything. I will kill her you witch!”

Eun Tak was good at academics in school, not sports. At that second she thought she deserved an olympic medal.

“Don’t you dare lay your moldy fingers on her.”

The goblin with blue flames snarled at the specter fled in shock and surprise. Kim Shin turned to his bride and sister with grim countenance.

“We need to head home and talk.”

 

* * *

 

 

When the goblin had teased him for his sleeping position he had scoffed and adamantly told him that he slept better looking like a corpse.

_Between the paintings and food and wine and concoction, the depressed king laid on his extravagant bed in corpse-like stillness. Eyes dark with bags from many nights of insomnia and nightmares, he looked like a phantom, already half-dead._

_Oh._

So _that’s_ why he slept that way. That was not very comforting.

The sleeping position Kim Shin laid him in was suddenly very, very, _very_ uncomfortable.

Shifting the sheets to sit up he tried recollecting the last few moments before he slept.

_Oh._

_Right. The goblin._

_Oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap-_

“You know I can hear you loud and clear right?” Wang Yeo did not hide his flinch very well. He swallowed whatever saliva he had to wet his dry throat and produce words. His throat was _very_ dry.

“Here, drink some water. You need it after busting your skull like that on oak flooring.”

Cheeks reddening from embarrassment and a tiny tinge of gratitude for the goblin’s brashness, the grim reaper accepted the proffered glass with trembling hands.

“Are you alright?”

“Erm.” His throat was still very dry. A quick assessment of himself also led to the realisation that he felt absolutely exhausted, physically and emotionally. His eyes stung and his nose was stuffy. There were some phantom pains here and there but they were muted due to his current, more critical situation with the goblin in front of him.

“How long was I out?”

“About an hour. I was almost tempted to pour ice on you to wake you up but I’m not dishonourable like that.”

He was relieved for the banter. It gave him something to put energy into that wasn’t emotions. Plus, it was more fun than talking about past lives, deities and punishments.

“What dishonourable? Goblin’s have everything from gold to mansions to corporations but not honour. I’m suspicious even now as to what you did to the water you just gave me.”

“Hey, don’t be like that. It’s not-” At this, the goblin’s face scrunched with something that was more thoughtful, solemn.

_Not good. Great job Wang Yeo-ack, no no no you’re not him? no you’re an official asshole._

“Erm.” he coughed, _think think think,_ “What happened exactly?” _Great. Smooth change of subject. Are you sure you’ve 300 years at the job being grim reaper?_

At this the goblin’s face showed even more lines. _Does he have more wrinkles than before? Goblins don’t age…? Not good._

“I think we should go through this slowly. Really. I’m still pissed. Hell, I’m always pissed.” Inwardly, the grim reaper snorts. _It’s a wonder Eun Tak can deal with your temper._

“Hey, I can hear you you know!” At this the goblin flustered and the seriousness faded from his face.

“It’s just,” the goblin sucked in a deep breath, _oh shit oh shit oh no,_ “I’ve lost a lot of people and you, honest to god, scared me.”

He feels his heart beating far too loudly, the cold sweat slicking down his back tickles.

“Hell, I think I’m more scared and confused than you are.” A glance. “Okay, scratch that. Just, I want to bargain.”

“Bargain…?”

“A trade of information of sorts. I think we need to have a proper conversation. About Eun Tak, Kim Sun, Park Joong Heon’s ghost and about what happened.”

 _About what happened? What happened? Uh uh, no way._ The grim reaper can feel his jaw clench involuntarily, his eyes harden with wariness, his fist clench. _No._

He doesn’t know what that moment _was._ It wasn’t something from his time as a teen nor adult. It was locked tightly and deep in the muddle of alcohol, food, paintings and concoction that was his past life’s memories. Those were already terrible. All he knows is that Wang Yeo had good reason to lock it up, bury it and never look at it.

He had the memories of bitter, betrayed, depressed, suicidal king. And that king had something even more terrible to remember?

The thought of it just sent unexplained chill down his spine.

“Crap.” _Where’s my tact, I can’t just go asking for explanations like this._ Kim Shin thought loudly enough for the grim reaper’s head to hurt. The goblin bit his lips in concentration and his eyes shone with badly hidden curiosity and… concern?

_And he thought he’d been spared the guilt momentarily. Kim Shin, Kim Sun, Missing Soul… debts I cannot pay._

Releasing a deep breath, the grim reaper’s glare bore holes in his white blanket.

“Okay, a trade. We’ll talk.” _If it makes you feel better, you absolutely deserve it, I owe you._

“Alright. Not now. Later, when you’re not feeling like a grouchy old lady who’s lost her marbles.”

“Hey!”

He put out a smirk that did not last. “Before I leave you to Eun Tak’s mothering, I… In the hour you were out, I was thinking.”

“Thinking? You?”

“Stop that will you! Just, god.” The goblin huffed like a frustrated chicken. “In the hour you were as a dead as a log, I remembered. My friend the grim reaper and not my master, Wang Yeo.”

His throat was still itchy even after gulping the water.

“You’re different. I reached you. What happened with Wang Yeo was a past life. In that hour, I thought maybe what my sister died protecting was something I didn’t see then. In that hour, I think I figured out what she was protecting. It’s this… this you? I’m not making any sense. Anyway I realised, I couldn’t get rid of you even if I wanted, annoying grim reaper. You’re stuck with us whether you like it or not.”

“I’ll.. I’ll always dream about their deaths, but I think it’s time I tried retiring my anger. You just, just keep being yourself. It’s penance enough for Kim Shin the war general I think, it definitely is for Kim Shin the Goblin groom.”

With a stupid, love-drunk smile, he left a touched grim reaper behind.

The area where his heart beat ached but at least it was warm.

 _Stupid, cheesy goblin._  


* * *

 

 

“Come help me chop up the vegetables!”

“Okay, okay, just let me rinse the pot first slave-driver!”

The kitchen was bustling early in the morning, the work a distraction from the disturbing attempts at Eun Tak and now Kim Sun’s lives.

They were making potato soup for a certain grim reaper.

“Did you set a date for The Talk?”

The goblin had no idea how the discussion of Wang Yeo’s memories and Park Joong Heon’s attacks had turned into a formal event, capitalised for importance.

“No? It’ll be soon though. It needs to be.” The seriousness of the apparitions hauntings came back in that moment.

It was broken by the click clack of polished shoes on the marble floor.

“I… need to head out. I need to submit Park Joong Heon’s missing soul report. I can’t send it out myself, I was… suspended. I think it’s best for everyone it goes to headquarters quickly though so I’ll have a colleague do it for me.”

The pair stared at the immaculately dressed reaper, a far cry from the mess of a person he’d been when Eun Tak had helped the goblin settle him in his bed.

One look at his pale face and slightly trembling fingers was enough to know it was a mere illusion. _Barely holding up, oh you poor poor mister grim reaper._ Eun Tak sympathised.

“Okay, but could you be back by 2 for a late lunch?”

“Lunch?”

“Yes, The Talk.”

“The Talk?” At this the grim reaper cast his red-rimmed eyes at a guilty goblin.

“Er, yes. With Eun Tak and myself. And you of course.”

“And Kim Sun too. She deserves to know if she wants to. Park Joong Heon is after her too after all.”

The goblin grimaced and shied away from the accusing eyes of the grim reaper.

“She… she’s coming?”

_Why oh why does the grim reaper always look like he’s about to cry?_

“Oh. Okay. I.. I’ll go now.”

As the doors shut Eun Tak turned to face him.

“You didn’t tell him before you made him join The Talk!?”

 _Uh oh._  


* * *

  

“I need this missing soul report submitted with urgency. I can’t submit it myself because I’ve been suspended.”

He slid the document towards his colleague.

“Please, if you can do it by tomorro-”

“I’ll have it submitted by this evening sir.”

“Thank you.”

 

* * *

 

Kim Sun busied herself in her restaurant. There were customers coming in eights and elevens and their seating requirements just boggled her.

She missed the part timer's presence. Her new staff were good but needed far more guidance than Eun Tak ever did. After the scary encounter with what she’d described as her past life’s husband’s creepy caregiver, she deserved it. What a small world for him to find her quaint restaurant. He must be in the know of modern Korean food trends.

She’d agreed to whatever ‘The Talk’ was. Her safety was one of the topics to be discussed and with educated guess, this danger to her likely extended to her brother, part timer and… whatever he was.

_What was he doing now? How is he doing? Because frankly, I feel like I need the Goblin to make it rain today just to make someone feel as empty as I._

She chastised herself for being selfish, continuing to labour to make sure she’d close shop in time for the meeting.

Well, Sunny was bright and intuitive. It wasn’t difficult to guess that _Wang Yeo_ would be in attendance as well.

 

* * *

 

Glaring daggers at his wristwatch, the reaper fidgeted in his seat, strawberry smoothie  staying frosty in his hand.

Every tick of the second hand, every tock of the minute hand, every hour. _It was agonising._

_Oh god oh god I was Wang Yeo and she was Kim Sun and I wiped her memory I erased it without her permission and she’s going to find out oh god what have I done I need to I need to I don’t know-_

“Oi, kid.” He jumped at the yell.

“Stop shaking your leg, you’ll shake away your good luck and good fortune.” He stopped.

A lady with a bright red dress sat in front of him. _Samshin._

“Saying hello is polite you know.” He blinked.

“... Hello.”

“You were thinking so loudly and shaking your legs so violently I think you could cause a richter 8 level earthquake in the entirety of South East Asia.” He gulped.

“Anyway, will you buy me a smoothie? Let’s chat to wile away the hours.” He stood and headed to the counter.

_He’s never been this shaken before, so pliable. It’s as if he’s a different person. I had my suspicions when he was sentenced to punishment but there was no evidence… He’s so afraid he’s forgotten to even put up a front of bravado in front of me. But of what?_

“Here you go.”

“Now, grim reaper. I do not know how to speak of this plainly but I feel I must.”

The plastic smoothie cup crunched slightly, its contents close to spilling.

“Certain… complications have arisen given the recent returning of your memory. Yes I speak of last night.” She slipped a glance at his cup as he visibly loosened his grip.

“Your fate, I see it, as I do for everyone I create. But…” This time, the grim reaper isn’t releasing his breath. He forcefully does as is implored by the deity in front of him,

“Recently, it has become muddled, polluted. By something, I know not. It’s not the same as Eun Tak’s, her future flits by, endless possibilities from the endless variables she represents.” The grim reaper attempts to relax his tightly clenched jaw.

“It has only happened to souls who have been incorrectly sentenced at their time of death.”

Strawberry smoothie slush stained every inch of the table and the reaper’s coat, none on the Samshin. The humans were staring now.

“It’s a rarity as to what blinds even the Almighty on judgement day.”

“What exactly are you telling me?”

“I’m telling you that He may have made a mistake. That whatever memories He watched and scanned and judged when you died might have been wrong. To fix this issue we need to find out what piece is missing.”

“To fix it…? After…?”

“Yes. After you had already been committed to 600 years of torture in the afterlife and 300years of penance with your service as a reaper.”

“What…” he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t speak. _He was fucking pissed._

More of all he was _bloody terrified. What else can I not remember? What other pain did Wang Yeo have that would now be owned by the Grim Reaper?_

He couldn’t bear the thought of it.  


* * *

  

“Right, I got some tea brewed just in case tempers flared. Hopefully it’ll keep things calm enough for proper discussion and planning. You better not drink the whole pot.”

“I won’t, I won’t! I’m trying to exercise calm. See? I’m in zen-mode. I’m no grumpy goblin.”

“Erk, that was the most unconvincing rhetoric ever.”

“I’m trying!”

“I know”

She gave him a small peck on his forehead.

 

* * *

  

“Oh that’s the bell. It must be the boss. I’ll go get the door.”

 

* * *

 

“Where is he? He’s late.” Eun Tak whispers with concern.

“He’s usually the most fastidious it’s tedious.”

“Do you think he’s alright? He just wanted to submit the report. He should’ve been home earlier.”

“What sort of report?”

“A missing souls report for Park Joong Heon-”

Just then the door slammed open and the grim reaper stomped in.

Expensive pots crashed to the floor, ancient paintings were ripped from the wall, tables broken into tiny pieces.

“What are you doing?!” The Goblin yelled.

The silence was only punctuated by the reaper’s laboured breathing.

“Oi, grumpy cat. You want to throw a tantrum do it outside! Oh, oh dear, my Klimnt painting, my Rembrandt-! Agh!”

“Mister Grim Reaper, are you alright?” Said man found two, now three, concerned gazes upon him. _It was too much._

“Fine.” He replied too quickly.

A gasp. “Your hands!” _Oh, he’d hit the table with his bare hands. The splinters were sharp._

The two women rushed to check on him. Sunny grabbed his wrist gently, flipping it palmside up.

“Geez, that’s a lot of blood.”

_A lot of blood a lot of blood a lot of blood-_

He looked down at his palms.

_A lot of sticky yucky blood-_

_Blood on your wife from the arrow-_

_Blood from the fallen general-_

_Blood from the dead peasants-_

_Blood from the dead soldiers-_

_So much blood-_

_He's so terribly sorry-_

He jerked violently backwards in intense fear. Away from _her,_ away from _him,_ away from _them-_

_Blood so much blood oh god he killed her them all of them all those innocent people-_

Hyperventilation, he’d seen it in the humans that died of heart attacks, just prior to him reading their cards.

_He couldn’t breathe-_

His muscles tensed up so much it _hurt,_ the hair on his skin rose, his hair sticking to his clammy forehead.

“Oi ugly grim reaper! Oi!”

He looked. He couldn’t, there was so much blood on him so _much_ in his long hair his chest his legs-

“Look at me. Look at me.”

He looked, a pair of hands sandwiched his head.

_There was a soul who he had sent away. Cause of death was a workplace accident. His head was wedged between the hot iron press and- Oh my god his head his face-_

“Whatever you’re seeing isn’t real. Just breathe with me. Inhale and exhale on 3.”

He inhaled.

“1, 2 and 3. Good.” Exhale. “Again.” Inhale.

_His heart beat is drumming so fast and loud it's a war drum-_

“1, 2 and-

_...3. There, now stay still. Yes. Good._

_You’re a good boy Wang Yeo._

_You’ll be a good king._

_You’ll make your father proud._

_Won’t you?_

_It’ll make your father so happy._

_Yes?_

_Okay now…_

_There’s sticky goopy stuff all over him. It’s not nice to touch nor nice to see._

_It’s bright red._

_Is he Wang Yeo or grim Reaper or Wang Yeo he doesn’t know but oh my god both lifetimes are so red red red._

He's blacking out _again._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you get when you receive a traumatic bloody past and 300 plus years of memories sending dead people off? Pain. Also, the plot thickens! 
> 
> I wanted to explore the grim reaper's gory jobscope. I imagine watching people die, knowing it'll happen is pretty okay, not any less disturbing but at least having less potential to be traumatising. But, if getting pastlife memories is like becoming that person, suddenly you're not a prepped grim reaper you're a susceptible 30 ish year old witnessing a whole ton of death out of context.
> 
> Yeah this sentence doesn't make sense. whatever. See you next chap! No more avoiding conversations!


	3. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conversations are hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did some quick research, to my immediate regret, my previous chaps have had unrealistic panic attack representations. Ngeh. I had written the scene with panic attack symptoms in mind but clearly i got what a panic attack causes wrong. Panic attacks don’t result in fainting usually, stress and exhaustion can so I’m going to write it in as the cause of Wang Yeo’s blacking out lol. Also he shouldn’t actually black out for an hour in the first scenario? Just a few minutes contrary to media depictions lol. Anyway, for his first fainting scenario, just imagine Wang Yeo fainting and waking up and Goblin putting him in bed for him to fall asleep normally from exhaustion. Apologies for unrealistic depictions yagh there is a lot to look up. I’m rusty at writing and the research involved geez. Here’s another installment. I’m dishing this out fast so there are lots of mistakes but I just want to finish this before the steam dissipates.

Honestly, waking up like this was getting tiresome.

He blinked his sore eyes and made a move to get up. Where was he?

A hand stops him. Right, he’s on the floor. What happened?

Surveying his surroundings, there are a few perturbed people around him. One of them is holding him down. He is still lightheaded but the events before everything went black slowly filter through his mind.

“Goblin…?”

The three people breathe a unison sigh of relief, his heart clenches. He was not proud for putting the worry lines on their faces.

“That’s the second time in two days, you damsel.” He doesn’t bother with a reply.

“Have you even been sleeping? You look terrible.” Kim Sun- _ Sunny  _ looks at him with a scowl. He had not meant to make any of them...care so much. He didn’t deserve their attentions. 

_ It’s wasted on you anyway, king of destruction, of ruin.  _ His mind supplied him unhelpfully. 

“Get up slowly, I’ll get you something warm to drink. Be sure to steady him.” Eun Tak gets up with the grace of a saint, treading softly into the kitchen. 

_ This is too much. _

_ You want it though. _

_ Shut up shut up shut up _

_ Why why why he was undeserving _

_ Shut up shut up shut up _

“Your thoughts are too damned loud! Just keep quiet and get up already!” The goblin yells impatiently whilst pulling him up and steadying him. Kim Sun- _ Sunny  _ is rubbing comforting circles on his back.  _ It feels nice. Having them with him. _

_ Undeserving- _

The pair direct him to the living room table (that was not smashed) and sit him down on a sofa.

“We’ll need to clean up and bandage your hands, they’re a mess.” Kim Shin chastises him and heads toward Eun Tak for the medicine cabinet. The reaper wishes he hadn’t. Now he’s alone with  _ her.  _

“Mister Kim Woo Bin-Wang Yeo- _ whatever,  _ you need to take better care of yourself.”

_ What.  _

_ What in the bloody almighty- _

_ Ahem. _

_ She remembers. _

_ Oh no oh shit fuckfuckfuck _

Kim Sun grimaces. “You contradicted yourself that night, remember? Time, with you or Wang Yeo or  _ whatever  _ wasn’t  _ all _ unhappy.”

_ It would be extremely convenient to lose consciousness right now. _

“To just get it out of the way, I’m going to tell you that Kim Sun, not the current me, she was- she loved Wang Yeo. Yes, she was pissed and sad in her last moments but- I own that memory now. And it wasn’t loathing, it was just-” She scrunched her nose. “-difficult for her to accept that her husband did not trust her. She was frustrated with him, her foolish king.”

Wang Yeo- _ ack no  _ the grim reaper- _ ack _ gulped nervously.

“But I’m not her. I mean I have her memories and all that but she’s, not me. Similar, but not me. I got to meet Mr Kim Woo Bin, a grim reaper, not Wang Yeo a young king.” She sighed.

“I don’t think I have her naivete, her capacity to sacrifice that much for a man. What I mean to say is that I’m happy with my life right now. I have the restaurant, part-timer, a brother. It’s just I think I’d be happier if you were with me too, maybe not like that. We’d broke up essentially. You tried to erase my memory and that’s a can of worms we’ll break open later.”

He knows an apology would not be welcome. He’s given too many in one lifetime for any in this one to count. 

“Dealing with all this supernatural stuff, has given romance a lot of complicated variables. I have my own life and you’d taken away my memory. I can’t forgive you and be with you in  _ that way  _ as if it never happened. You did make me happy, it’s just that so many things went wrong.” 

He was no good as Wang Yeo nor as Grim Reaper-Kim Woo Bin.  _ A walking disaster. _

“But I still want you in my life. It’s irrational after what you did but I’m human. I just think I want to know you first. As a friend. And I do want you to be happy. It’s clear to me that this,  _ this _ , whatever you’re in, you need to get out of it to make it up to me. You need to get better, you’re obviously not well. Love be it romantic or not isn’t unconditional. There’s a give and take. I’m giving you a second chance because I think you deserve it.”

Deep breaths, deep breaths. 

_ Undeserving undeserving she is better off without you- _

“You only did those things because you thought it was best for me. It wasn’t. It was best for yourself. If there’s any similarity between you and Wang Yeo it’s that you forget yourself and traipse on with whatever you think is right for everyone else. You need to find out what it is other people want. Your intentions were still pure though and I’d bank on that to be the reason to extend a hand of friendship. Wang Yeo never found out what it was his wife wanted for him, you on the other hand, still have the opportunity to repent.”

It felt as if her gaze was piercing through his skin, muscle and bone to see his core. He felt bare,  _ naked,  _ in her scrutiny.

“I need you to forgive yourself, move on, do better. You’re not Wang Yeo. Not exactly.”

“I had my memories returned. I remember everything.”

“Yeah, part timer told me a while ago. You’re… Wang Yeo ++ then. I’m Kim Sun + Sunny. The good, the bad, it’s about making sure the good trumps the bad, rising up above our demons but acknowledging that they don’t go away. I think with this blend of memories, the resolution presents itself in friendship. Besides, those are old memories, they don’t change your core.”

_ And what is your core little reaper? Destruction, war and sorrow- _

His relationship with Sunny had gone bad with the anonymity that came with being a grim reaper, Wang Yeo’s relationship had gone bad with his distrust. How did  _ friendship _ come about? He’d thought she’d be happier not seeing him, ever.  _ Ah. Yes. Once again, he’d assumed the best for the other.  _

“I’m being blunt, both Kim Sun and Sunny were hurt, but both loved their version of your soul or whatever you want to call it, your line up of lives and reincarnations. Their relationship didn’t work out romantically. Part timer said we all have four lives, to sow and reap yadda yadda. I think we’ve already tried sowing the seeds and failed. So let’s try something new.”

An alternative?  _ You don’t deserve her. _

“I think Kim Sun and Sunny 1.0 went about getting to know you wrongly. In both lifetimes. The second hasn’t ended yet and I think that means there’s still a chance to do right in this lifetime. Sunny 2.0. Now let’s restart.” She shifted in her seat to sit up straight.

“My name from this life time is Kim Sun but I prefer being called Sunny. I’m a successful chicken restaurant owner, I care for my friends, employees and family. These are my parents, my newfound brother Kim Shin and part timer, Ji Eun Tak. I like my job, I’m good at managing my staff. In my past life I was a consort to the King of Goryeo, Wang Yeo. Also named Kim Sun, I had royal servants for friends and my brother Kim Shin. I liked ripe persimmons and colourful silk. Your turn.”

He wasn’t sure what to say really. He decided to let warming heartache he felt guide his introduction.

“I was an amnesiac grim reaper from the 9th division of reapers until I recently got suspended and retrieved my memory as punishment. I had created an alias called Kim Woo Bin. I have two... friends named Kim Shin the goblin and his bride, Ji Eun Tak. I like tea and dark clothing and sorting out my papers alphabetically. In my past life, I was Wang Yeo, young king of Goryeo and executor of- of-”

Sunny bit her lips and whined “Can we leave the sad stuff for later? That stuff makes the Kim Sun in me go mad and despair for her brother.”

“In my past life, I was Wang Yeo, young king of Goryeo and I… liked Kim Sun?” She gave him a look that demanded  _ and?  _ “I… er… liked reading in the palace library alone? And painting? And having tea with my Kim Sun?” He supplied as quickly as he flit through the 30 so years worth of memory as Wang Yeo.

_ At least it got her to smile. _

_ And I’ve a new friend. _

 

* * *

 

With his hands bandaged and Eun Tak fussing over him with hot milk and soft blankets, it was time to inform everyone what had happened and devise a plan.

“Okay, I’ll start first since we’re finally done patching up Mr Delicate here.” Eyebrow raised he snickered. Eun Tak elbowed him rightfully so in the ribs.

The goblin had been exceptionally adept at cleaning his wounds and wrapping them up in clinical fashion. It was unexpected-

_ Oh. _

He wasn’t very bright both as a King and as a Grim Reaper.

Kim Shin the War General had gone through so many battles, the casualties and survivors,  or course he’d know first aid. Given his immortal life is plagued with memories of said battles, it wouldn’t be surprising for the goblin to keep up to modern day first aid techniques. He’d had to patch plenty of people in Goryeo, why wouldn’t he keep the skill for fear of unwarranted futures?  _ A skillset for any surprise, a ready soldier. _

_ Oh you’re such an insensitive prick, Wang Yeo-Grim reaper.  _

He made another addition to his mental list of things to atone for before tuning into the goblin’s words.

“This meeting is to discuss the recent threats to Kim Sun-” “Sunny!” “-sorry, Sunny’s life and Eun Tak’s. By extension, myself and Mr Delicate Flower.”

He felt the tug of alarm and concern for her, for  _ them.  _

“Before discussion into Park Joong Heon’s involvement, we need to lay down all the divine-” “And mortal.” Eun Tak helpfully added. “-and mortal variables and conditions.” 

“One, the goblin bride’s purpose at birth is to pull out the sword in my chest that turned me into a goblin. Removing it returns me to ashes.” 

At this, their faces shifted into mixed expressions of concern, sadness, helplessness and determination.

“Two, the  _ Samshin  _ visited me one night in the library and informed me that due to Eun Tak’s unwillingness to-” A glare. “-Eun Tak and my own unwillingness to have it removed, Eun Tak has become ‘unnecessary’ in the Almighty’s eyes.” His eyes darkened.

“Eun Tak will keep facing the threat of death. It has occurred on three occasions. First, her kidnapping. Second, an accident with my powers. Third, a bus crash that I prevented.”

“A kidnapping? Part timer just what have you gotten into?” She had the excuse to be shocked, the supernatural was still new to her. 

“Yes, a kidnapping that the two of us stopped.” 

“Three, and this needs confirmation. The Reaper has filed Eun Tak’s missing soul report and thus we now have some notification via name cards as to the when, where and how her next death will occur.”

“I’ve been suspended, my trusted colleague is now handling my division. He’ll receive the cards and notify me promptly.”

“Alright. So there’s that. But given past instances, Eun Tak’s a missing soul so she’s an unknown variable in every scenario. Those cards won’t be 100% accurate.”

“Fourth, to just give all of us a rundown of a goblin, a reaper, a goblin’s bride and a ghost’s abilities, I have psychokinesis or telekinesis. I can hear the thoughts of the Grim Reaper and vice versa. I have a flaming sword, super strength and the ability of precognition when I look at humans. I can also teleport by walking through doors to teleport and make gold.”

“You can make gold?” Sunny the businesswoman’s eyes shined.

“Yes, but you can’t have any.”

“You’re a cruel brother.” He had the nerve to grin.

“I can also summon him whenever I blow out a fire.” Eun Tak giggled.

“That too.”

“Grim reapers can brew teas of amnesia, move things with telekinesis and teleport. We can make ourselves invisible, not untouchable, by putting on our black hats.” 

“Don’t worry, you don’t want to see him in the ugly thing anyway.”

“I can look into the dying memories of humans I touch, and give back memories of their past lives with a kiss.” Sunny and himself just shrivelled in their seats.

_ So that’s why he was so adamant about no-touching in our… dates? I wonder whatever gave God the idea to deprive the Reapers of touch. Cruel. Unless there were reapers who hooked up with each other in the community?  _

“Name cards are given as a grim reaper’s next assignment, the next batch of souls to guide into the afterlife. Each reaper was elected as such due to being a terrible sinner in their past life. One of these sins are… suicide.” 

_ How is it that he always creates such situations of absolute awkwardness? The tension in the meeting was already palpable! _

_ “ _ Before that, they were tortured in limbo with their memories intact for several hundred years.”

“What?!”

_ Crap shut up crap _

“And after that their memory is wiped and they live out as reapers until their punishment ends.”

“Are you fucking serious?!”

_ What the ever loving fuck Kim Woo Bin. This is why romantic relationships didn’t work out between us! You didn’t tell anyone anything!  _ Sunny was seething, at the reaper, at the gods, at  _ everything.  _

The grim reaper paled more than thought possible. 

The face of fury on earth was one Ms Kim Sun or Sunny.

“Right. Eun Tak?”  _ Please save me. _

_ Got your back Mr Grim Reaper. I’ll try. _

_ “ _ As the Goblin bride I can see ghosts- souls that don’t want to move into the afterlife yet. I can see the supernatural beings regardless of their own abilities. So even when Mr Reaper wears his hat, I can still see him. I generally am the exception to the supernatural being’s abilities, Kim Shin’s precog doesn’t work on me, neither does Reaper’s memory reading.”

She decided to continue quickly and allow no opening for queries.

“And ghosts have the ability to teleport and possess humans as far as we know. Park Joong Heon was immune to Kim Shin’s blade and abilities so he’s powerful and different from the rest of their ilk-”

“Sorry part-timer, I just need to stop you there and wrap my head around this information. I didn’t expect the conditions of becoming a supernatural being be so dire. Maybe I’m still a little slow to comprehending the exact implications of all immortality and torture and goodness,  _ several hundred years _ .”

Kim Shin thought loudly for the reaper to hear.

_ You idiot! I asked you to reveal your abilities not the bloody details of your existence! _

_ But that information came in tow with the introduction to the supernatural! _

_ I think we both hate talking about it, right? Now you’ve dug yourself a second grave! And one for me too! _

“Oh shut it you two.”

They turned toward her in shock.

“You just told me you guys have some telepathic connection. You’re panicking now aren’t you?”

_ How in hell was Kim Shin the elder sibling?  _  
  


* * *

 

 

“Brother, you’re telling me that you’re stuck with immortality and a tragic sword in your chest because of what happened 900 years ago?”

“938 to be exact.”

_ Oh my sweet, adorable goblin, you’re an absolute idiot. Hell hath no fury like the boss. _

“I wish God had a face so I could strangle them and make them clean the restaurant toilet for eternity, give them a taste of their own medicine. I hadn’t thought about immortality in that way before.”

_ Eun Tak had only sympathy for the divinity. They should be exceptionally grateful that she wasn’t a wrathful a person like her boss. If she hadn’t been so forgiving… well. _

_ She’d have some scheme for them herself as well. _

_ Until then she’d play mediator. _

_ The gods better set up heaven extra nice for me when I die.  _

Kim Sun gave both her brother and the Reaper a sympathetic glance. Then an understanding one exchanged with Eun Tak.

_ Yes boss, we’ll take care of them. _

 

* * *

 

“Okay, now that we’ve got all that sorted. Any other conditions of import?” Kim Shin looked around.

The reaper pursed his lips. Was what the  _ Samshin  _ said of import to protecting themselves again Park Joong Heon and finding a solution for the Goblin and his bride?

The memory locked up by Wang Yeo tickled his mind like an invisible parasite. To tell or not? It was inconsequential to them right? He didn’t really want inform anyone of it. It’d lead to prying and… He had no idea why even the  _ prospect  _ of visiting this memory felt so  _ terrible. _

He  _ really _ didn’t want it to be out in the open. Whatever it was.

But what Sunny had just told him… Would they want him to tell him? Yes.

_ Still answering for others aren’t you? _

Right, she’d told him that wasn’t something he should do. He shouldn’t assume.

_ But god this is so uncomfortable to say. _

“Erm, I think I have something.”

_ Oh my god they’re staring- _

_ I don’t think I was ever this nervous as a grim reaper without memory. _

“I don’t know if this fact is important or not to the purpose of this meeting but I think it’s… best if I let you all know?”

_ You sound like a kid learning how to speak. _

“The  _ Shamshin visited me earlier in the day.”  _ He could feel the anger and  _ dread  _ bubbling inside him. “She told me, that there might have been some… some screening error at the time of my death.”

_ Wang Yeo had gulped down the poison with abandon. It was sour and left a bitter after taste. It went down like water. He could feel his lungs protesting but he just wanted to drown himself in poison. _

_ And then there was the waiting for it to take effect. _

_ And then-  _

_ “Name: Wang Yeo. 35 years old. Cause of death: Suicide by poison. Do you confirm?” _

_ And then- _

_ “Wang Yeo you are sentenced to 600 years of torture with the memories of your sins.” _

_ Oh god oh god he’d only wanted a reprieve, a release- _

_ He didn’t want it to  _ continue.

“That her vision of my fate was muddled. And that it meant…”

_ 600 years of it. _

_ “Wang Yeo, 35 years old. Death by suicide. Do you wish to take the mantle of Grim Reaper?” _

“It only happens to souls that had their memories read wrongly during judgement day.”

_ “I do.” Finally, please, let it stop, let it end- _

“What are you talking about Mr Snowflake?” The goblins disbelief was tangible, with an undercurrent of rage.

“Are you implying that, that punishments have meted out wrongly? But that-”

Kim Shin growled angrily. “Please tell me this is a joke. Please. It’s enough that they dish it out but  _ they get it wrong? There’s the possibility that there are wrongly punished goblins and- and- and-”  _

“Oh my god.” Eun Tak gasped. Her horror was reflected on the other two’s faces. 

“And she said yours could have been dispensed incorrectly or unfairly?” Sunny was on the verge of crying.

He was too actually. He still managed to mumble a soft “Yes. Maybe. I don’t know.”

The tears came in full force. Sunny moved to give him a hug.

Eun Tak was holding a Kim Shin frozen by the incredulity of it. 

_ You do this to people. _  
  


* * *

 

 

_ “Reaper, Wang Yeo, child. You need to find that memory. It’s imperative.” _

_ “Why?! So you can write me a formal apology?!” _

_ “Child, stop. It was not intentional. Not at all. Not an administrative error, not a wrathful decision.” _

_ “Then what?” _

_ “There are forces at work even the Almighty don’t control. We don’t know who or what it is. Just that it is evil and cruel and that it schemes for its own gain.” The Samshin’s voice did not waver. _

_ “I’m warning you child. Your memories were tampered with somehow to result in your sentence. We’re auditing the screening team. So far they’ve all come clean. Maybe you can help yourself because this tampering doesn’t seem to originate from us. ” _

 

* * *

 

_ “ _ So your punishment, could have been unfairly dealt? Not that it isn’t already cruel, wow.”

Sunny was sitting opposite of him now, drumming her fingers on the chair handle.

The goblin was pacing. 

“I mean you did do bad things-”

He did not hide his flinch well.  _ It’s true.  _

“But no one deserves a punishment that goes far and beyond human comprehension. You were in limbo for 600 years!”

“He killed you! He killed us! All of our servants!” The Goblin bellowed.

“Enough already Kim Shin, you’re only lashing out because you are still in the process of retiring your betrayal for Wang Yeo. You don’t want to accuse Mr Grim Reaper, not really.”

“Eun Tak- I need- I need to know who did it. I know-knew-damnit. I was starting, trying, to see them as separate entities and now,  _ now.  _ I’m being told that the punishment didn’t match the crime? That I should absolve him of the guilt of  _ murdering my family?!” _

_ Even if the god’s had reason to give you leniency, it is still your hand that destroyed this man. _

“If not him then who? Then what? I- I- I blamed him. I did. I still do. Wang Yeo is the traitorous, foolish king. It’s easy, simple. Reaper is different, he’s not him. Reaper just got his memories back, he’s still not  _ him _ . There, I know that! But Wang Yeo, deserving of less punishment? Whatever for?”

“Kim Shin, please. Look at me.”

He drank in her teary eyes and pale round face.  _ She’s beautiful. _

_ She’s so so so beautiful. _  
  


* * *

 

 

After that they’d all been to shaken to continue. Some time to recuperate,  _ alone,  _ was needed. 

_ I have a memory that changes everything. _

_ Those years in limbo- torture-don’t go there- _

_ His stint as the grim reaper- _

_ Everything. _

_ But I don’t want it, even if it’s a ticket out of this life- _

_ No he doesn’t want to leave Kim Shin, Eun Tak and Sunny yet, he’s not Wang Yeo- _

_ Poison give it to me, death please give me oblivion- _

_ It’s just he’d have a ticket, a choice- _

_ But you don’t want this memory- _

_ He can hear the muffled screams and sobs and wails behind the lock.  _

Whatever it is it throbs like a festering, unhealable, unclosable would. It’s ominous and guaranteeing pain pain  _ pain- _

The last time he’d wanted something, his memories back, his identity, the  _ before- _

He almost met his ruination. His friendship with the Goblin and Eun Tak, was threatened. He’s still picking up the pieces with them.

_ But it also returned Sunny into his life. _

It was  _ torture  _ to be trapped in indecision and dread and  _ uncertainty. _

  
  
  
-To be continued-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here are my headcanons as to how all of the characters 'swear'.
> 
> Kim Shin: He just swears out loud. He has a limited vocabulary. Grumpy goblin.  
> Eun Tak: Angel that hardly swears both internally and out loud. When she does though, you're in perilous danger.  
> Reaper: Only swears internally. Panicky awkward dude. Totes need 5 mins to properly give you a reply.  
> Kim Sun: Swears like water. Like brother like sister. She's more creative than him with it though. And terrifying.
> 
> If there's any confusion with what Reaper and Sunny are going on about, their consolidating their break up for a stable friendship. Also, attempting to come to terms with what harm's been done in both lifetimes. They're also experiencing an identity crisis because both lifetimes were different and now it's like two people are sharing heads. It's complicated af. 
> 
> For Kim Shin's reaction to Wang Yeo's possible shared blame, just imagine. Your brother was manipulated to killed your sister. He's gone to jail and come back to you and you're solving the tension between the two of you. Suddenly the police tell you your brother was sentenced wrongly, not because he didn't kill her but because the manipulation aspect of your brother was of greater cause to the death. Now you're pissed at the police obv, but also at your bro because you're being forced to forgive him even more but you just need that space to think rn. It's a confusing jumble of emotions. And he's harboured that hate for 900+years, give him time to love his bro again. 
> 
> Wang Yeo is the poor baby who was manipulated and oh dear it was his fault to fall victim. (The blood is still on his hands though.)
> 
> My writing doesn't really make sense, i hope you enjoy it regardless haahahaha 
> 
> also daddy issues coming soon (finally lmao) I'm so peeved they didn't address this much in the drama ugh my goodness HE WAS A PUPPET KING
> 
> *screams unintelligibly*


	4. The Talk Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the short break, Sunny is finally realising the headache that comes with getting to know these supernatural beings. 
> 
> Eun Tak gives her take on the situation and is stumped as to what to do.
> 
> Kim Shin seethes because emotions are just weird for him.
> 
> Wang Yeo tells them things that aren’t fun to hear. 
> 
> The conversation escalates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: From the beginning of the drama, I was kinda disturbed by Eun Tak’s age in relation to Kim Shin. They often had the uncle and school girl thing and that was just creepy. I liked them discussing things and bantering, not the “I’m your fated bride!!!” childish whine bs. Sorry, first loves are a cliche that I do not personally like and with Eun Tak’s age difference with Kim Shin in canon.. I just, no. Their relationship was still good, just muddled here and there by tiny things. I’m going to put it out now, my Eun Tak is about 30. She is working in a radio company, doing well and met mr goblin and Yeo along the way. (somehow becoming flatmates.) Sunny calls her part-timer for old time’s sake and likewise Eun Tak calls her boss. The age thing doesn’t change much and their dynamic is the same. I’ve edited prior chapters to reflect this. Please don’t expect her to be the bubbly child in the series, she can lawyer your ass. (Let’s just say those grades in school? Not a bluff.) Eun Tak is awesome, I just wish she wasn’t so young in the series… I have a lot of things I want to change within the drama. So there. I should probably put what changes I’ve made to canon in tags or the story summary lol. Eun Tak and Goblin just had good chemistry which is why I’m keeping them together haha. Tbh I felt Yeo x Shin was just so suitable because of all the similarities in their predicaments and so on but that’s just me. Remember, I’m dishing these chapters out quickly, so all previous chapters might be subject to sudden edits whenever I find out that there are details that need changing.
> 
> Enough talking, on with the next chapter!

 

If God had a face she’d like to drag it along the rough road.  _ If only. _

When she’d first gotten to know Woo Bin, she’d been head over heels like an average schoolgirl. He was handsome, almost the walking, talking, living version of the archetypal sullen prettyboy in the drama’s she’d watched on her off days. 

It was intriguing, that he would cry at the immediate sight of her. 

She hadn’t known she’d be dragged into all these supernatural beings lives with all of their emotional baggage.

She knew she couldn’t pull away, she cared too much.  _ She was human, she was flawed and emotional. _

She had to help out her part timer. The poor thing. Taking care of two superpowered babies. One of which was her brother. The other her past life’s executioner and husband. 

In the years of starting up her business and running it, she’d had plenty of relationships with all sorts of people. Some barely lasted, some seemed like they could but didn’t. Through it all part timer had been with her to rage at them or weep in despair. Now part timer had someone. Her brother of all people it seemed. She’d been happy for her but still kept an eye on her for any signs of a souring relationship because that’s what friends were for, watching over the other. 

With full knowledge about the conditions surrounding the relationship, she’d become extremely worried for the both of them.

Eun Tak’s  _ god given  _ purpose had been to be the Goblin’s bride. She knows to mind her own business in her friend’s decisions. But. A  _ bride.  _ It wasn’t a short fling or anything, actual  _ marriage  _ and domesticity. Not that the boyfriend-girlfriend relationship was much different, it’s just that the  _ weight  _ of the vow was different. Marriage was like a formal officiation,  _ all of you  _ was now tied to the other. 

Finding out that there were some other greater power pulling some strings? She’d been extremely suspicious. She hoped sincerely that Gods did not have the power of hypnotism or to change minds like she’d seen far too often in superhero movies.  

She was confident that Eun Tak could take care of herself but maybe they’d talk just for her to settle her concerns.

They did seem to genuinely care for one another. Their affections weren’t something a  _ title _ and supernatural elements could create.

Besides the deities meddling with their relationship, there was the problem that they’d  _ punished _ her brother for being loyal to his king’s orders. Murder was by virtue a punishable crime. However, she knew, not every crime was black and white nor did they ever warrant a sentence  _ beyond mortal comprehension.  _

The humans were constantly editing laws and punishments so that every human would agree they were appropriate to the crime and acceptable to society’s generalised idea of human decency. Essentially, establishing punishment you’d think would be appropriate if you’d done the crime.  _ And even with our  _ mortal  _ parameters, we’re in constant disagreement as to what  _ appropriate  _ even meant.  _

938 years.  _ Jesus fucking christ. _

People could turn into all sorts of messes in their average 80 year long lifespans from just a few seconds of a single harrowing experience.

To have to stretch their minds beyond normal processing capacity was a  _ terrifying  _ prospect and one that had been meted out to her  _ brother. _

Maybe Gods had some distorted sense of reality that made them think it was  _ alright  _ to subject mortal minds and bodies to the stuff that only they themselves would find  _ alright _ to endure. 

There was always a struggle to come to terms with and live with trauma. The need to rise above one’s demons were motivated by the finite nature of human’s lifespans.

If you had an affliction and a limited time left to live with it, you’d have some motivation to make the best of it. But if you didn’t have a limit, if no end was in sight, what was the point? An end gave things  _ meaning _ . As far as Sunny knew the immortality the Gods had  _ cursed  _ her brother with had essentially landed him with a meaningless, pointless life. The sword in his chest had unclear conditions as to how he’d be able to pull it out. It was an ending that was just out of reach. 

_ Torturous.  _

On the matter of human minds being capable of  _ coping  _ with supernatural interferences, to which Sunny herself been a victim of, she’d thought that the Gods were mad if they thought they were doing them a favour or olive branch to their level of ‘enlightenment’. 

The Gods really needed modern ethics lessons. Ethics lessons written by  _ humans. _

Her understanding of her mortality and life had been  _ violated  _ when she’d received her past life’s memories. She had every right to be angry at the reaper. Having the memory of a life lived whilst she was living another was not something a mortal soul would ever have to experience in normal instances. Normal people did not have memories shoved into their brains. 

However nice the kiss was, it wasn’t the point. The reaper hadn’t asked whether she’d wanted those memories despite knowing she’d get them. She hadn't _consented._ He’d only gotten what he’d wanted, to know if he was a part of them. 

_ And,  _ he’d attempted to erase her memories thereafter. 

_ Oh you foolish, tortured man. _

Initially, she’d thought it best that they never meet ever again. There were consequences to his actions and her leaving him would be her rightful recrimination. But she’d still had the memories, an emotional reason to still have him in her life. So she’d settled on compromise, friendship.

She’d still see him  _ and  _ get him to make it up to her. In the process, he’d have a chance to atone, not just regret. This time with a clearer idea as to what was okay and what was  _ not  _ okay to do. It was a win-win in her eyes. 

Sunny, despite her intense personality, was an advocate for second chances. Third, if necessary. That’d been Eun Tak’s influence, she was truly the goddess of mercy. 

Feeling determined, she made a vow to help the awkward reaper pick up the pieces. That didn't mean she'd let him off easily, the two men in her group of loved ones were to be subjected to Sunny's wit and bite.

_ She'd face everything head on. _

 

* * *

 

Eun Tak knew the implications to the word  _ fate.  _

She would be lying to say she'd been perfectly okay with being the goblin bride from the beginning. She'd been wary, so had Shin, thank goodness. Their meeting had been plain coincidence and chance that slowly led to something more.

She was very glad for that. Their relationship has blossomed naturally and not out of any supernatural interference. The sword was a serious matter though. She held his death in her literal hands.

The gods had sentenced her to be a murderer. She understood that it could be seen as a mercy killing but it still put blood on her hands. Plus, she'd come to love him.

It was complicated but she was as resilient as a weed and she'd be the thorn in the gods side. 

She'd find a way to throw a wrench in their plans for their fate. 

Sunny had inspired this ferocity in her, forging nerves of steel in the face of the almighty.

The other concerning matter, the latest besides the long running one that was her own relationship, was Mr Reaper. 

He'd appeared apathetic, cold and unfeeling initially,  but she knew this to be untrue. In fact, he was alike a kicked puppy with a penchant for kicking himself. His self-loathing and self-pity was palpable. 

And indeed he was pitiable. Unlike Shin's punishment that was still imaginable as it'd been in the mortal plane, the reaper had been in  _ limbo. _

Whatever that plane was like, it wasn't something  _ understandable.  _ It was frightening. 

As with most of her own supernatural problems, the solution didn't come easy. She'd have to live with it as best she could until they do find it.

 

* * *

 

“I'm going to go make something for teatime.”

“Does it involve steak? If yes, that's not appropriate for tea dear.”

“You know I'm a rule breaker and you love me for it.”

“Just get in there already. And make me a sandwich!”  
  


 

* * *

 

 

Thus, the goblin found himself at the grill with an 6oz. ribeye, toasting some bread, cooking some bacon in a pan and washing some fresh greens.

Cooking was such a plebeian activity it was calming.

He was a good cook, he'd had plenty of time to learn and develop a palate. He was the chef in the relationship with Eun Tak, who'd likely destroy the whole kitchen.

She'd teased his fussiness with the knife cleanliness, the amount of time needed to marinate meat, the precision in slicing veggies. 

Once, she’d caught him experimenting with the amount of time needed to boil a perfect half-boiled egg. He’d given the excuse that it was a  _ new  _ induction cooker and that he’d wanted to know what heat level to use. Eun Tak called him an egglord, a parody of something online. 

He’d been offended but Eun Tak had called him cute once when he’d pouted so he let it slip.

Cooking also gave him time to sort out his thoughts.

When he’d been turned into a goblin as punishment, he had been furious. Yes, he killed people, but it was done in the name of a king. He wasn’t a savage, he hadn’t killed people he wasn’t ordered to. With hindsight, he of course knew that that didn’t render him innocent. It’s just that, 900 years ago Goryeo didn’t have studies on ethics and morality like the present. In other words, he hadn’t known any better because the idea either hadn’t existed yet or been taught to him. 

He was a general who followed his master’s orders unquestioned and  _ that _ was the highest level of morality he could uphold at the time. If the gods were hoping he’d understand his punishment then, they were fools. He’d been dealt an unfair hand.

In those 900 years, he had tried searching for other goblins and found none. Ghosts, reapers and the Samshin were the only supernatural presences on the mortal plane apparently. 

Really, God had certainly not listened to his pleas and explanations and excuses. 

And now he was told that those punishments could have been dealt wrongly. Finding out that reapers were reapers as punishment had given him consolation that everyone was subject to the same treatment. A punishment wrongly given meant that God’s hands had holes. 

He was  _ fucking pissed.  _ It was selfish of him, indeed, to want the same suffering be experienced by another. It was only  _ human.  _

If several men lost the money they’d put into a bank, they’d suck it up and admit the unluckiness as a fact of life. However, if one man had been told that their savings had not meant to be lost, due to some mix up in the bank, that fact of life was rendered null. It was evidence that they could use to condemn the bank for.

He wasn’t making much sense with the metaphors he’d made up but whatever, he had an excuse now.  _ If Yeo is partially innocent why am I not? _

The whole possibility gave him a headache. 

He’d known all the while that the young king had been under the eunuch’s thumb and not the other way around as it should be. Unfortunately the previous king had been wrong, not caring as a form of caring was absurd. Yeo hadn’t at all been informed enough to make good decisions. 

Now all of them had to suffer because of it.

He had been as sympathetic to him as he’d been able to. If anything, he was likely the most understanding of his pain, both of them had been punished by the gods. Didn’t mean he thought he was a completely innocent  _ snowflake _ . 

Firstly, he was vegetarian and had despised his own chosen diet for being virtually carnivorous.

Secondly, when they were both drunk he was the crazy, laughing, sobbing one. Eun Tak had thought otherwise initially.

Thirdly, 938 years ago he  _ did  _ sentence him, his sister, his family and his troops to  _ death.  _

Regardless, he’d hear him out.

He set a teapot to boil for all of them.

 

* * *

 

The Talk hadn’t been paused with a specific return time and so after a while of recuperation on their own, they’d been attracted to the delicious smell coming from the kitchen.

Except for the reaper though, he’d been concerned that Shin was using  _ his  _ groceries for Eun Tak’s sandwiches, which he was.

So they’d all found themselves gathered in the kitchen. Shin with his steak, Eun Tak and Sunny with their bacon sandwiches and the reaper with his peanut butter one.

“What made you to decide to become a vegetarian Mr Tsundere? Don’t tell me there’s a sob story to that as well.” Shin joked with an obnoxious grin.

“I don’t like the taste of meat and I’ve seen slaughterhouses. Some are not kind.”

“I knew it, there’s some sad reason to everything you do.” Sunny flung tomato slices she’d picked out of her sandwich at her brother.

“You’re the one that made me eat a … sadwich?”

Eun Tak just held onto the reaper’s hand and looked at him earnestly.

“Don’t ever make jokes again Mr Grim Reaper.”

Sunny died from laughter.

  
  


* * *

 

 

“Okay, before we continue with the matter of Park Joong Heon, I want to say a few things.”

“If by a few you mean give us a speech, I’m thinking of bringing a pillow to these talks next time, brother mine.”

Scowling he continued “Put your phone down. What are you doing with it anyway?”

“Taking candid photographs of you and your silly face. Give me something good for snapchat.”

“Oh, send it to me after!”

“What’s snapchat?” 

“I have no idea. Something like Instagram I think.”

“What’s instagram? You know what, nevermind. Back on topic please?”

“Just a minute.” Sunny sent the snap to Eun Tak. “Done.”

“Anyway, all I wanted to say was that regardless of whatever  _ beef  _ we have with each other,” He gave a knowing glance at the reaper, Eun Tak gave him a slap on the hand. “We’re all working towards the same goal so, truce? Truce.”

There was agreement all around. The reaper was baffled though. The goblin gave him a telepathic groan.

_ Just this once, accept what’s given to you and not question it, please.  _

He’d nodded and conceded. 

“Kay, Park Joong Heon. The summary.”

Sunny snorted.

“He’s a ghost that is targeting all of us, perhaps for slightly different reasons. It’s simple in my case, I murdered him, he wants revenge for that. He’s after Eun Tak because she’s the only one who can kill me or be killed to torment me. It’s likewise for Sunny but she’s also the one who threw a wrench in his plans for Yeo’s running of the kingdom so it’s likely he’s vengeful because of that. As for reaper… Why is he after you exactly?”

The reaper frowned. He had no idea really. Compared to the others, there was less reason for his caregiver to come after him. He was just his puppet. He hadn’t really  _ done  _ anything to warrant Park Joong Heon’s-  _ father I wasn’t good enough for you father please don’t- attentions _ .

He shivered. He didn’t know what to think about him, his  _ father.  _ When he’d been without his memories all he’d felt for the man was discomfort without context. Joong Heon did look terrible with his black tongue and tattered robes.

Now he had a mix of childhood affection and hatred from his dark depressing days-

_ Alcohol, paintings and poison- _

“Oi, are you listening?” Shin snapped his fingers in the reaper’s face. “Aside from that, in Goryeo he was Wang Yeo’s teacher and caregiver. He was the previous king’s chosen man for the job. He took charge of you when you were 3. I was still a soldier in training. I was only given a few details when I first became general. You were 13 I think and that was when you were coronated.”

The reaper could feel the uneasiness in his gut, these events were muddled in his mind.

“Because you were too young, Park Joong Heon and the other advisors took charge in running the kingdom. I was sent off to my first few wars and came back when you were about 17. ” 

The goblin’s eyes grew distant, the noise from those bloody battles still rung in his ears. Eun Tak took his hand into hers.

“It was then that I learnt of Park Joong Heon and the councilmens’ unease at my popularity amongst the citizens. By then Yeo had started sending me further from the kingdom for harder battles as part of their scheme to remove the competition. I came back about a year and a half later as the time to fulfil the last king’s wishes of Kim Sun’s marriage to Wang Yeo.” 

He was quiet for a while, his sister had married at 16 due to a dying man’s wishes. He’d wished now that he’d been less loyal.

“I remember hearing rumours, about the period when I was away. Some soldiers were gossiping about strange councilmen’s deaths. Do you remember anything about that?”

“I… don’t remember strangely.”

Exclamation marks of concern began lighting up in all their heads. 

“Do you think I’d sentenced people to ensure Joong Heon’s plans went smoothly?” The reaper asked with growing dread.

“I have no idea. I stayed around for about a year and I remember there were a lot of celebrations for the battles my contingent had won. I think my popularity was at its peak at that time because soon after you gave me the sword and asked me essentially to be  _ killed in battle.” _

The reaper did not hide his flinch.

“I came back three years later and then the  _ thing  _ at the palace happened.” He crunched out the words.

“Anything to add, vampire?”  _ Ooh that’s a good one. I’ll keep that one. _

_ I didn’t know you were keeping a list. _

_ Hey! Don’t snoop where you aren’t welcome. Answer the question! _

“Not really. I know Joong Heon was constantly suggesting your execution within that year but the years before Wang Yeo and Kim Sun had been wed are… hazy to me.”

_ Oh no here it comes- _

“Didn’t you get all your memories back? Why is your memory all spotty when I’ve had to keep mine in as much detail for 938 years?”

_ Oh crap oh crap oh crap- _

_ “ _ I- I- I don’t know. Stop asking.” He gulped and clenched his fists to hide the slight tremor in them.

The goblin raised a single eyebrow.

“You know I can’t do that. If we’re to have anything against him, it’ll need to come from you. You’re the one who knows the bastard best.”

He didn’t know what motivated him to say it really. 

“ _ Don’t call him that.”  _ He’d been just as shocked as they were with the venom in his voice. He knew the reasons to hate the man, he was the one that poured bad ideas onto his brain. But he still had faint feelings of needing to protect him. There was still some twisted belief that Joong Heon had  _ loved  _ him.

_ Father, please read my poems. Are they good? _

_ The guard said I have a talent for archery father! _

_ Father please stop it hurts, I don’t like it- _

He blinked. He wasn’t really sure what he was feeling anymore. It was a huge jumble of  _ feelings _ .

“Are you fucking serious right now? After all he’s done?” Shin’s temper was rising. Rightfully so, he was protecting the man that’d coerced the young king.

“He was still my father, I can’t-I don’t-” Words were hard.

“Who used you against us!”

“But he’d been with me before- before everything. I- I didn’t have  _ anyone _ else!” 

_ Lonely, yes he’d been lonely as a child. That much he could remember. _

“I’m  _ sure _ he was a model parent!” 

“Stop it Shin!” Eun Tak scolded.

He couldn’t stop-  _ oh why couldn’t he just shut up- _

_ “At least he was there!  _ You just told me my own half brother, the previous king hadn’t cared about me!  _ He  _ was the one who put us in an isolated section of the palace!”

_ He remembers that. Yes. It was the quieter, less populated section of the palace. The guards made their rounds at specific intervals spaced about 3 hours apart. It wasn’t a very strategic section for rebels or thieves or assassins to enter so security wasn’t as tight. _

_ To compensate, the walls there were thicker, taller.  _

_ Any nearby guard or servant sent away wouldn’t hear a thing- _

_ Oh my god oh my god it hurts it hurts stop please- _

By this point, Kim Shin was huffing and puffing like a bull, oblivious in his fury that cold sweat was soaking the reaper’s shirt and hair sticking onto his clammy forehead. 

“Can you even convince me he was a good parent before everything? What did he do for you besides poisoning you literally and figuratively?!”

“I- I- I don’t remember!  _ I don’t remember anything before that! I don’t know! I don’t! I’m sorry! I’m sorry, I can’t- I can’t breathe-”  _ He hadn’t realised he’d yelled nor stood up until the entire room was deathly silent.

“Why can’t you?”

“I don’t know- I don’t  _ want  _ to. I just- I don’t-  _ I can’t- It’s just-” fucking terrifying and I don’t want to know what it is it’s just I’m scared and I don’t know why why why please stop asking me- _

Unfortunately, Kim Shin could hear those thoughts loud and clear. He’d forgotten to make those private whilst caught up in the  _ fear. _

“What the fuck. Is  _ that _ what the screening administrative team missed when you died? Your  _ entire fucking childhood?” _

_ Oh no.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ho boy this fic is hard to write. Covered the heavy stuff in this one I think so I hope it's not information overload. I feel like I'm writing kdrama meta goodness gracious. 
> 
> Goblin going all military with the debriefing lol. 
> 
> I try to balance light hearted moments with heavier ones. Hope you enjoyed the beef joke. I'm lame like the reaper. 
> 
> I was going to say more but i'm drawing blank. Hope you enjoyed my brain vomit. 
> 
> Also, dun dun dun Reaper's can of worms are about to be opened! I think.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N 
> 
> I'm still unsure of what sort of abuse the Grim Reaper went through as I'm not sure I have the ability to execute it with enough finesse. It could go really really disgusting but I think to fit canon material I'll have to tone down my violent imaginations. I have not done any research on child abuse, this write up is a dramatised version ( I'm very sorry to say this, I'll do my best in future installments to try and be as accurate in the accounts of actual child abuse victims and their recovery). 
> 
> You may be questioning my sanity as to why I'm twisting the adorable love story so much. I just saw a window of opportunity and generally have a low tolerance for romance (I skipped through a lot of the fluff because it just didn't interest me much) being the biggest factor of causing emotional hurt. I am a sucker for reading realistic whump and recovery fics and just saw the horrible potential in my victim the grim reaper. There's just so much you could make up with what we were given in the drama I had to write about it.
> 
> I wanted the mind fuckery of getting back your memory to be explored further because I'm biased to my angsty son the grim reaper.Even without the abuse, I think it's safe to say that canonically, Wang Yeo was definitely emotionally manipulated by father figure piece of shit Joong Heon and that his hurt goes deeper than just murdering Kim Sun. ( Yeah love and all that but tbh Kim Sun as Wang Yeo’s first true and unconditional friend? And he killed her because of the bastard's hold on him???Fuck that shit will make me cry.) 
> 
> Don't worry readers, the rest of the characters’ angst and issues will also be explored (Kim Shin has a shit ton of it) and I'm going to make them something other than romantic because Jesus Christ these people have issues that need to be talked over before all the fluffy lovey dovey can happen. 
> 
> I hope you've liked my first installment, I had a good deal of fun purging this from my system.


End file.
